We attended the same church, a good start to good friendships as many will say.
We also had a
mutual love for writing. A shared faith - and the same glee in stringing words
together, for the rhythm and rightness and simple satisfaction of it - made a match
of her and me.
She was witty
and wise, which are neat qualities in an older friend.
She was my mom's age.
I was the age of her grown children. We didn’t play surrogate mother or
daughter to each other but there was probably a little of that mixed in with
the admiration we had for each other’s work.
At heart was
the enjoyment of getting to know each other through our church volunteer work
and the friendship rooting through experiences and shared interests.
I knew of her before she knew me. I was new to the church, which we'd joined with our move to the suburbs.
The church felt enormous. It had more families on its household register than is the size of most towns we'd previously lived. Learning names is a way to make a place smaller, and this I set out to do.
The church felt enormous. It had more families on its household register than is the size of most towns we'd previously lived. Learning names is a way to make a place smaller, and this I set out to do.
At some small
group meeting early on her name was mentioned. She was described as a very
spiritual woman.
When we met, at some later meeting, she radiated more than spirituality. She
radiated panache.
She was a confident dresser who wore striking jewelry with
bright outfits. Her clothes were a statement to her joy of life and her plan to
get the most bang out of her buck.
She was a
writer and poet. Poet is what she called herself. She had a knack for rhyme. No
one rhymed better. She penned verse that sparkled. It brought smiles and
downright laughter.
Her poetry had humor and whimsy, each as needed, and
where it belonged. She shared the gift of her poetry generously.
She was a book
reader and a fan of Barnes & Noble because it was a reading haven. The fact
that one of the stores came into our city was like wind in her sails.
She was
avid about crossword puzzles, another tick in the list of things we both liked
to do.
Over the years
I wrote down wise bits and pieces she shared with me. They were jotted into
various folders kept as best thoughts about life and living.
For the past
thirty years wisdom like hers has been picked up where found and made a part of
my collection.
It comes from realizing the importance of catching a thought,
belief or snappy statement made by someone else and using it as a reflection and
gauge of the many truths about life.
I cherish the lines
in my folders that come from her. They’re examples of her wisdom. Some thoughts
or sayings of hers that stood out for me:
(1) “Memory is
my security." This was from a poem
she wrote.
She read the newly coined poem on the phone to me. Using me as sounding
board to her writings was part of the friendship. It made me see I could give something important to her.
She trusted me
with the treasure of her words. She wanted them weighed by my ears before launching
them on a wider audience.
She trusted me
to be honest but I know she also relied on my kindness. She understood that as
a fellow writer my instinct would be respectful.
Writers have tender feelings for their words.
We can be cautious about who we let see our work before we’re on sure footing with
our artistry.
“Memory is my security” jumped out at me. It was the kind of phrase she could turn so well. She condensed her thoughts into a few shining words as in this poem that referenced her past.
The phrase is the image of enduring love. Though my friend, a widow, seldom spoke of the married time these four words give a sense of the bond still kept with her deceased husband.
As a succinct definition of the power of love to connect they caused me to reach for a pen and get them down.
The phrase is the image of enduring love. Though my friend, a widow, seldom spoke of the married time these four words give a sense of the bond still kept with her deceased husband.
As a succinct definition of the power of love to connect they caused me to reach for a pen and get them down.
(2) “I’ve
learned not to be afraid to ask” is a comment saved because it’s an
indication of the way my friend learned to deal with the world.
She got to where she
was by taking the bull by the horns when she had to, and doing the hard stuff.
This includes asking (for help, directions, clarity, etc.). In a world that can
be tough on those on their own, asking is sometimes the only option left.
The comment about asking goes
hand in hand with another remark. “I told her my problem” she said in the
course of one of our visits.
She was telling how she was
helped to locate a hair salon when anxious to find a stylist who would fix her
hair to her satisfaction.
She told her “problem” to a
church acquaintance. This gal, as it turns out, was glad and able to recommend
a salon, which wound up being close to my friend’s home.
She followed up on
the tip and was a pleased client at this salon for many years.
I wrote down the remark because
it reminds me that when we open up and share our situation or divulge a need we
often find our answers.
People are generally interested when brought into an honest dilemma. When asked or allowed to be part of the problem solving they often can steer us to a solution or offer a beneficial pointer.
People are generally interested when brought into an honest dilemma. When asked or allowed to be part of the problem solving they often can steer us to a solution or offer a beneficial pointer.
(3) “The Holy
Spirit is never late.” My friend had enormous
belief in prayer and putting yourself in the pathway of the Lord. She could
come up with such beautiful expressions of faith.
You were inspired by being in
her company, and in her company you were never far from matters of faith and
family.
(4) This is
the one I like the best, the one that most stays with me except the exact
wording is forgotten.
Disappointingly, it’s not showing up as I look for it. It
goes like this: "Pray to the Lord and then trust. God is with us always to
see us through."
The church we
attended had many spiritual people like my friend. They articulated their faith
and readily shared it. It was amazing spiritual uplift and growth for me,
especially being new there.
I became
active in this church and with each new involvement met new friends like the friend of the June 1 birthday.
June 1 is a
day with the loveliness of spring and summer to it. She and I often commented
on her luck of having this day.
She was happy the day was hers. Knowing her, she put
her happiness to work and made a poem of it.
Ro Giencke –
June 1, 2014
No comments:
Post a Comment